Music Challenge: Itachi
by reniRCx
Summary: Yep, I did one of those iPod music challenge thingies. All about Itachi, pretty heavy on the angst. Please, give it a read.


**A/N: So help me, I did one of these. Yep, it's one of those take-the-first-ten-songs-that-come-up-on-shuffle-on-your-ipod-and-write-drabbles things. All Itachi POV, you'll have to kind of infer when in the timeline it is. They don't really have anything to do with each other, so you can just skip to a song you know or whatever. Enjoy!**

1. I Hope You Dance- Leeann Womack

To me, Sasuke represented all that was good and happy in life. I could barely remember a childhood as he had- if I was ever a carefree child, it was before the Third Great Ninja War.

But Sasuke was a child, and a perfect one. He admired me and my skills, with ambitions to someday become like me. He could be surprised, and afraid, and happy, ad sad, as a child could and a ninja wasn't allowed.

It was childish of me, I know, to hope that he never grew up. Never become like me, or Father, or the rest of the ninjas of the village. I didn't want Sasuke to ever become emotionless and cold and stop appreciating everything he could and I could not take notice of. If anything, Sasuke kept me human.

I never got a chance to tell him how much I appreciated him. His little dramas, his awe, his imagination. And with everything else I had to kill that night- my emotions, _my family, _it was killing his dreams, his innocence, that hit me hardest.

2. Superman (It's Not Easy)- Five for Fighting

I know what emotions are. Even if I ignored them, suppressed them within myself to a point where I could barely understand what I _should _be feeling, I could at least remember.

I remember what how disgusted I was by the piles of bodies that littered the village after the bloodiest battles of the Great Ninja war. I remember the terror I felt, left alone in the house while all my relatives were out fighting to the death. Some didn't come back.

I am human. I know what humanity is. I'm supposed to be a ninja, cool, emotionless, a mere tool. I've accomplished this to the point that I scare myself. I don't feel like I used to. I know what my old self would have been feeling, that person before ANBU, before Konoha dug its claws into me. The self that would never have killed his family, no matter what. But here I am now, emotionless.

3. Imaginary- Evanescence

Genjutsu had always intrigued me, from my brief time attending the Academy. I had become something of an expert, I suppose, in gaining the Mangekyo Sharingan, which specialized in genjutsu.

To trap someone in a world of my own creation with nothing of their own but their mind was an almost amoral battle technique, I suppose, but a successful one. I could play with the color, the size, their very reality. In the world created by my genjutsu, I was all-powerful. I was in control of everything. I could torture, I could scare, I could all but kill. I could mix my genjutsu world with their reality, make them believe something untrue.

If genjutsu could be used for good, I would be the foremost advocate. There's something remarkable about the power to distort reality, to create an impossible universe that the victim had no choice but to believe. Genjutsu was wasted in battle and torture.

4. Us Against the World- Westlife

My little brother and I were always very close as siblings go. We barely fought, and then it was only over little things. He always came to me with a problem, not our parents. And sometimes I almost wasn't able to restrain myself from telling him my problems in return- problems he wouldn't understand, that would destroy and confuse him to even hear about.

I liked playing childish games with him, even when a normal child of my age would have long outgrown them, and I knew Sasuke enjoyed my company as well. When I didn't have time to play with him, he would watch me train or sit in my room and draw pictures while I did academy homework or later, prepared for missions. We were together every second we could be, and we were each other's support. I knew he was caught between hating me, respecting me, and loving me for my abilities, but I could always count on him to bring light into my life.

5. How to Save a Life- The Fray

I didn't want to believe Madara when he told me what I had to do. Kill Shisui? My best friend, the person I had always looked up to more than any of my supervisors, more than my own father? I couldn't.

But I did. I left him a note, to meet me by the cliff that looked over the water. No reason for him to suspect an ulterior motive, it had been our secret place for years. If I wanted to talk to him, it would be there.

I had to do it. Madara told me, and I managed to convince myself. I needed the Mangekyo Sharingana. And to attain it, Shisui needed to die.

I hid in a tree, waiting for him to approach. He wouldn't even have a reason to be cautious; this was such a private spot. So he wasn't even looking out for me when I jumped, struck him in the back of the head so he would be unconscious while he drowned, and threw him into the water.

It only took a few seconds. It was cold, calculated, precise. But after, those moments right after were some of the worst of my life to that point.

I knew what I had done, and I knew I had to do it. The Mangekyo Sharingan awakened within me, but at a great cost.

6. Dead Wrong- The Fray

For as long as I could remember, I had always tried to find the most peaceful resolution. For my ANBU missions and even some of my regular missions as a genin and a chunin, I had to kill people. But that was by orders of someone superior to me, and I knew that it was necessary for the safety and security of the village.

For the safety of the village- that became my mantra and my priority. People needed to die, it was for the safety of the village. My entire clan needed to die solely by my hand? For the safety of the village.

Maybe it was wrong. Maybe it was wrong to set all my loyalty to Konoha instead of figuring out my own morals when I still could. But what's done is done, and can't be undone. Every decision that I made, I would have to live with.

7. The Riddle- Five for Fighting

Sometimes I wonder why. Why I'm the person who makes all the tough decisions for myself. I've always gone after what I knew as necessary and just, no matter the suffering I inflicted on myself. I know I'm strong. I know I'm the kind of person who can change things, who has the ability to make my dreams a reality for everyone else's benefit.

I knew it was worth it. I know that killing my clan, leaving the village, leaving Sasuke was the best thing I could have done. It wasn't about me, and despite mhy personal feelings, it wasn't about him. It was for the village, for the benefit of the world.

I singlehandedly prevented a war. Shouldn't that matter more than how I feel about my family having to die, my brother having to suffer? So many would have died by the Uchiha's hands had I not followed those orders. It's only fair- to the world, even to my clan. I was able to prevent everyone else's heartache.

8. My Last Breath- Evanescence

My death was coming. I could feel it. I knew Sasuke had to defeat me- I'd been planning this moment for years. My final, true goal was about to be accomplished. I'd taken care of almost all my loose ends. My legacy would fade away, the darkness I caused only to prevent more darkness and tragedy. The world would forget. Maybe, when I was dead, even Sasuke could forget.

I was weak, and extensive use of my Mangekyo had rendered my eyesight nearly entirely depleted. Sasuke was exhausted too, but he would live. All those years ago, I had told him that he would cling to life. I knew he still listened.

One last thing. There was one last thing I had to do. One last loose end to tie, one last bit of insurance for my brother. I knew he would be able to do what I had really wanted this whole time. He was strong- I had indirectly _made_ him strong.

I staggered forward, chakra depleted and stumbling from weakness. I pressed two fingers to Sasuke's forehead. And I felt my life slip away.

9. Trust me- The Fray (note: Go listen to this song. I think it fits the brothers really well.)

From the second I heard his small pattering footsteps on the street, I knew that I couldn't. I had shed every bit of my humanity for the village. I had killed my parents, all my relatives. I had shed every shred of my humanity- except for my love for Sasuke.

I threatened him. I cut him. I left him in tears. I made sure that the rest of his life would be lonely and cruel. But he would live.

I knew it was cruel of me. Cruel to thrust such a mission as killing me on his uneducated, naive shoulders. But it was also right. It was the only way.

Sasuke had trusted me. I had loved him. That bond, which ran so much deeper than mine even with my parents. Sasuke would grow up full of hatred and bloodlust, determined to fight and kill me.

It was a cruel reality. But as I had decided for him, it was better than death.

10. Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol

Sasuke was my escape. With him, I could pretend I was a child again. With him, I had to keep secret all which tortured me during work hours, which made it so much easier to pretend it all just didn't exist.

There was little I hated more than saying no to him. I didn't have time for more training, more games, more being together. But I wished I did. I wish I could spend the majority of my time teasing him, playing games with him, reveling in his innocence, such a contrast to my own tainted aura.

"Play with me, nii-san?" my brother asked hopefully. I glanced at the mission report I wasn't quite halfway done with, then put my pen down and stood. What were brothers for, if they couldn't spend time together? Someday, maybe Sasuke would be more like me, hardened by ninja life. But now, I could take in all he was, and try to see some of him in myself.

**A/N: WOW. That turned out…dark. Heavy-duty angst really isn't my thing, so I hope it sounds okay. Though I guess there's not much else I can write for Itachi. Review, please? :D**


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